Game Blog :: Real Madrid 3-0 Tenerife

By: Dancy | September 26th, 2009

What a bizarre, amazing, sleep-inducing, insightful, crackerjack of a game!!! It was seriously a tale of two halves, night and day. And one word to explain the difference: Kaka.

Sergio, Pepe, Albiol, Drenthe
Granero, Lass, Xabi
Raul, Benzema, CR9

10:00 Ten minutes in and this is looking exactly like Xerez all over again. Oh no, I take that back – its even worse, since we have no early goal to show for it, Ronaldo’s try this time expertly blocked. Game flow is non-existent right now, and its not like Tenerife is playing well, but then again, Real Madrid seems to be playing even worse.

Tentative, slow, unimaginative – we’ve tried to advance both up the flanks and up the middle, and have failed everytime except the first one: through Drenthe, whose multitude of step-overs seems to harm him more than the marker, because his subsequent high cross in vrooms by everybody and we get nothing to show for it. Our back four – seriously, even Iker! – has touched the ball way more than our forwards. Blah.

Meanwhile, they decide to spoil the other game I wanted to watch, Bilbao v Sevilla, by showing the score??? WTF!

15:28 I am actually rooting for Tenerife right now (!!) Look at that brilliant little one-two in our box! The final cross in would’ve been a goal if only their other forward had run onto it. And it all started because Sergio was too lazy to come meet Lass’s pass on the right wing, instead letting his blue-shirted defender fly by to steal it and make off with it. They’ve also had the first shot on goal. Keep it up, Canary Islanders!

22:09 OMG NEGREDO SCORED!!!!! YAY!!!!!!! Haha, not in this game though. ESPN, you fools, you picked the wrong game to telecast live. I almost want to switch this off and turn on espn360 for the Sevilla game instead, I didn’t even know he was starting today?? Does this mean he’s not gonna start in the uber-important Rangers game on Tues?   

But YAY, he scored! Sevilla up 2-nil on BILBAO AT SAN MEMES!!!!!!!!
Ok, back to our boring game.

27:00 OMG, finally something happens!!!!!!!!! Ronaldo! Then Raul! But ack, straight at the keeper who palms it away. Good buildup though, Lass playing in the “Guti” role to spread the passes around just behind the attackers. But their defense is so good at blocking everything left and right, its like they have telepathic powers! They don’t even have to park the bus in two columns like Zurich did.

30:00 WOW, look at that cross coming in from Alfaro! Took a deflection too, that thing was wicked! Iker all out to beat it.

35:15 Awesome, they’re not afraid of Ronaldo. One of their defenders fighting tooth and nail alongside CR9 for the ball when he ventured into the box, doing a “Sergio” and forcing Ronaldo to turn neatly around and go here and there and then a tiny little shove to push him off the ball! Fantastic defense! They’re gonna be fierce when we revisit them at their island home!

42:00 I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I want Tenerife to score. I LOVE how they play! How come every other team except us can do this? They seem to have played with each other forever, they have that innate understanding with each other, lookit how intuitively they move! Unlike us.

Unlike us who lack a creative player of any kind. Ronaldo and Raul and Benzema yes, on paper they are the envy of any team. But put them out there with no one to organize them and give them ideas they seem lost, disconnected, simply running at defenders by themselves until they are dispossessed of the ball. How can we sit both Kaka and Guti? Whose brilliant idea is this? What, exactly, is our game plan without them? You tell me Xabi is our most important player – ok, now prove it?

44:30 Is that Albiol running all the way up from center back to the upper left byline? LOL, looks like somebody on the team agrees that their midfield is sh*t right now!

Halftime:
I cannot wait until this team goes to Sevilla and gets a load of how they play – how fast and energetic their wings, how strong their forwards. What this team needs right now is a wake-up call. In the meantime, I’m gonna go dig up a copy of War and Peace, anything’s gonna be better than another half of this crap. Unless one or ALL of Guti, Kaka, and Pipita comes on, in that order. Pipita just got called up to the Argie NT – put him on, coach, I’m sure he’s feeling it!

Second Half:

HOLY SHIT, GUTI on for SERGIO?! KAKA on for Granero! Man, Pellegrini is not messing around, is he? Thank god!

And as soon as I see Guti come on, talking energetically to Albiol and Pepe and the other players – I feel better. He has a calming affect right now, based on his super form in the last few games, and being the veteran of this group, he gives off that air that he’s gonna reorganize his troops and rally them for a better showing in the second half. VAMOS Guti!

46:20 Instant success! A near goal! Great buildup through Kaka and Guti, fast and direct, exactly what was missing in the first half. Kaka dribbles up the right wing – sees no place to go so he finds Guti, who immediately switches play to the left wing for Drenthe. The Dutchie ditches his crazy stepovers for a no-nonsense cross straight into the heart of the box, where if Benzema would’ve arrived 1 second sooner he would’ve had a missile straight towards the center of the net! Then Raul just over the bar!!! Awesome.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BENZEMA! And he actually smiles this time, haha! 1-0, what did I say?

We got a corner off that Raul shot, ball is cleared out, but then Xabi races it down and gathered it up and sends it back in – a great cross for Benzy who rises highest of all to head it into the lower corner of the net. Not a great header or anything, but still, the aim is perfect. A group hug!

49:00 And now the whistles turn into cheers as Iker saves a blistering shot from Tenerife. Ahhhh, that’s what a goal will do for ya, restore the natural order of things.

51:00 Guti! That pass through the heart of TWO defenders converging in on him to Kaka nearly made me cry with awe and joy. This is what I want to see! This is what I paid for ESPND to see! That attack doesn’t come off but seconds later we’re at it again, this time with Kaka providing the aetshetics, skimming by all along the wing. And later, Pepe, with Guti not even thinking, instantly one-touch passing it back to him, giving him all the room he needs for a good cross if he had in him . . my, my god!

Tenerife is not gonna back down, though. Amazingly – the better we play, the better they play too! Terrific little team, searing pass to their forward all alone breaking away, if Iker had not dashed out there and made himself a human wall in front of their striker just as he chipped that ball – it would’ve been a Guti-like goal, a near rainbow! WOW, how this game has turned!

55:45 Holy cow, watch Ronaldo outrun EVERYBODY! Crossing the entire 70 foot plain all by himself! Past – how many? – 4 or 5 defenders?? That’s crazy! Then forcing the keeper to so narrowly save his shot, another inch and it would’ve been in! Oh, if only that had been a goal! They would’ve replayed it over and over. Take that, Messi.

Replay: He won the ball too. He won the ball too. All by himself! *faints*

LOL, then on the corner he jumps over the back of a player to head the ball, of course falls over him and the ball goes horridly awry. He gets up and throws up his hands, shaking his head at the ref. Not a foul, he says. Over the back? Never heard of it.

57:20 GOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BENZEMA x2! Now that’s just silly!

Drenthe with the long ball punted upfield – no aim really. But the Tenerife defender can’t quite reach it, in fact just pretty much lets Benz have it, then leaves him all alone to do whatever the hell he wants in order to run towards his own goal? Why, because that’s eons better than actually trying to defend?? So Benz has acres of space to take his time, get himself properly behind the ball, order a cheezburger, and then aim for the far corner where neither the keeper and the defender are. Hilarious! And I was rooting for you too, Tenerife! (ok, so I’m not the biggest Benzy fan) 2-0 and let’s get some more!

59:00 Kaka pushed down at the edge of the box! Ref waves play on! Not enough exclamation points on how well we’re playing right now!!! <3333333

The announcers are talking about Sevilla. This is the best thing ever – finally, a worthy opponent for both teams. Real Madrid is going to walk into an inferno at the Pizjuan! *giddy*

75:35 What did Ronaldo do thar??? Replay: a BACKHEEL to Kaka! Beating the marker in front of him soundly and splendidly. WOW – defying all laws of physics.

77:00 GOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KAKA!!!!!!!!!!!! Oooooooh, I love him!!
WHAT A GOAL! Just when it looked like Raul would pelt it, such was the way he ran onto it, left for him with a sweet little tap by Benzema – it’s BLOCKED! But they can’t keep Kaka from latching onto the rebound, and before anyone can blink he’s teed it up and fired it high and unstoppable at the gut of the net. Beautiful goal! 3-0. Haha, he’s only been trying for like ever!

79:00 Perfect. Momo Diarra comes on for Ronaldo, who looks slightly pissed at being substituted, but then winks cutely at Momo. (Pipita will start against Marseille on Wed, y/y? And score a hat trick?)

83:00 Benzema is looking better and better. He’s helping out on the wings, building the attacks, not just waiting up top for the ball to come to him and then fluffing it cuz the ball’s an alien to him. Ronaldo leaving also gives him more space to work with – and he really combines well with Lass up the right flank! Now if only he can expand on his facial expressions a bit – I might like him more.

85:30 Jeez, what’s up with Ronaldo? He doesn’t care to talk to anyone unless he scores a goal?? Completely ignores Pellegrini as he walks to the bench, doing some sort of fish-mouth with his lips. Then plops himself down in the back row of the bench, looking all prima-donna. Eh.

End: 3-0, what a wicked second half.

Man of the Match: Kaka

For a split second I couldn’t decide between the two responsible for our turnaround in the second half, Guti and Kaka. Then I realized – its gotta be Kaka. Man, Pellegrini was right – you don’t rotate due to fatigue, you rotate due to motivation and desire and the need to keep an edge on your game. Play Kaka all game long and you tend to see him running and getting fouled and not much else. Take him out – and you suddenly see what a vaccum he leaves on the pitch.

I think we needed this tepid first half too. To rest him. To remind him of how much we need him at his best. It is night and day, huh? In the last one, it was undoubted who shined more between Guti and Kaka – to the point where I even questioned Kaka’s usefulness.

But I see it now. In this game – their one-two punch gave us a huge lift and brought this game to life, brought out the best in everybody. Suddenly, players who looked like they’d just come from Segunda were now outrunning, outwitting, and outplaying the team that did; suddenly, they were worthy of the names on the back of their shirts.

Guti started out brightly and then faded a bit. But it was Kaka who kept going, Kaka who looked like he was worth every penny by running, running, running, finding every seam in the Tenerife defense. Those two are gonna drive this team to such great heights. May we never see another game when both of them are on the bench.

Post-game Thoughts:

Boy was that a Jekyll and Hyde game. O.o First half was full of snooze-button sloth, where we couldn’t string two passes together; second half was a complete 180 as I clung to the edge of my seat, barely remembering to breathe! The movement and fluidity that Kaka brings to the team, plus the steadiness and creativity of Guti, was like a Botox double shot – all the ugliness instantly erased and we were young and happy and beautiful again. This team cannot run without those two. For all the head-scratching we did trying to find a replacement for Xabi Alonso when he went out injured – who do we have to replace Kaka if he ever limps off the field? Cuz Granero ain’t it.

I feel so bad for Granero too. Now I see that Sergio was replaced because of a muscle strain – but Esteban? El Pirata? He was hauled off because he wasn’t good enough. In two games now, he hasn’t made his presence felt. Obviously its never easy for former canteranos to just come back and expect to slide seamlessly into the team (Soldado failed too, no?). I really hope he keeps working at it, he has amazing potential.

Another guy I feel bad for – my favorite striker, Higuain. What’s up with this rotation policy that sees either Benzema or Pipita missing out on a full game? He just got called up to Argentina, he’s happy – would it kill you to play him some, Pellegrini? Instead of having him warm up, then sit back down?

Look at Sevilla, for example. They have 3 world-class strikers too, in Fabiano, Kanoute, and Negredo, but they are rotating them so that ALL THREE get to play every game, whether they are starting or coming on as a sub. That allows the players to keep working and improving and feeling connected and useful to the squad. And especially for younger strikers – this is crucial. Half the reason why I dislike Benzema so much is because every minute he plays, and every goal he scores, hurts Pipita directly.

Don’t do this to him, Pellegrini. Because now Balague is saying he might leave us in January?? Yeah, I can see that. I mean, if a junior ad exec pulled in the biggest accounts last year and saved the firm from tanking, only to get shoved out of his hard-earned corner office and company car by some hot new French dude? He wouldn’t think twice before leaving and taking his talents elsewhere. You have been warned.

I’m off to see the Sevilla game. Man, what I wouldn’t give to be in the Pizjuan when Real Madrid visits next Sunday!!! I hope to god Alvaro Negredo starts, as I don’t think he’s allowed to play in the Bernabeu. A true test for both teams, and hopefully a whale of a game! May the best team win.

EDIT: Here is the match highlights

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