Game Blog: Zurich 2-5 Real Madrid

A mesmerizing game, where we won it, almost lost it, then won it back, full of frustration and teamwork and brilliance. We have the sexiest front four in the history of the game, bar none. No arguments! I will watch those four watch paint dry – haha, srsly! And Pipita . . oh, Pipita makes everything right.

Arbeola, Pepe, Albiol, Drenthe
CR9, Lass, Xabi, Kaka
Raul, Higuain

2:00 Drenthe with a tremendous run up the left wing! Now if only his crosses can improve too . .

4:40 They’re butchering our boys! Damn, Ronaldo gnashes his teeth as the ref waves play on.

8:35 ACK! Almost a goal for Zurich, if they got any power on it! But it was a backheel, so Iker was good for that.

9:20 Then immediately, we attack the other way, Kaka releasing Pipita who SHOOTS!!!!!!!! Diagonal shot parried by the keeper, I love the Spanish commentators on FSE who call him “Pipita” rather than the English ones who are always so formal.

12:30 LOL! PIPITA! It looks just like a normal clearance from the back – except there’s Pipita sprinting full bore onto it! Followed by a defender, natch, who puts an arm across his chest and Pipita’s simply trying to dislodge him from his body, and of course the defender falls down all hurt. The foul is called on our boy, who yells and flips the linesman off (using two fingers though – a polite version)! Hee! Wow, look at the cheekbones on that defender.

24:00 Man, Ronaldo! I hear you. This Zurich side is pretty damn tough to break down. They are of course parking the bus in front of goal, so even as we move it side to side, they are not budging. Raul and CR9 are both spending plenty of time in our own half, helping to defend, while Pipita is running crazy after defenders with no whiff of the ball. Finally we get a free kick, and what do we do? Send it over the bar, hopelessly, just like Xabi’s been no good either on his corners. And seeing that – Ronaldo turns and scratches the side of his head angrily, manically, like a little boy! Haha, he makes the funniest of faces!

25:30 They’re trying to kill our Kaka! D:
And our Ronaldo. Jeez – WTF? Pepe with a superb ball all the way out to the far left wing for him, LOL his defender falls trying to get it! Ronaldo gets it and runs, runs like the devil, and they have no choice but to crowd him and cut him down. Xabi PUNTS!! But its blocked off the back of a defender, and now we get a free kick, 25 meters from goal.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOL GOL GOL!!! Fantastic ball, superb, magnifique, a missile! The keeper tries to get a hand on it, but it whips in just under the bar, just half an inch in, the precison of which shocks me. And look at how EXCITED HE IS!!!!!!!!! How he pumps his fists, as if he’s won the lottery! Haha, it’s contagious! I love it!! 1-0.

33:00 GOOOOOOOOOLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A BEAUTY OF A GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!! Ohmygod! Cristiano! Pipita! RAUL!!!!!!!!! Bang, bang, bang, finally we evade those pesky white shirts, and author such a beautiful goal, so simple, and yet requiring all of our teamwork.

Just when I was cringing at how we cannot break them down, how Raul and Kaka and Pipita are tracking back so much only to get a tiny touch on the ball before tapping it back to sender, our back 4 seeing more of the ball seriously than our front 4 – just then, it is Pepe again, who knows Cristiano best. He skips up the right wing and hoofs a pinpoint perfect cross for him, right on his head, his Portuguese teammate jumping so high to snap that ball forward into Pipita’s path. Higuain sees Raul running and distracts the keeper into coming out before returning it sideways, right onto the feet of Raul, who arrives just in time to tap that in! Surrounded by THREE defenders, all of them gawking at our speed and precision! Haha! And there is the beauty that you are trying so hard to prevent, Zurich. 2-0!

36:22 We’re picking it up! And the supreme control and talent of Cristiano is pretty amazing to see. He looks much more comfortable out there now, doesn’t he? Here he is, getting a pass from Kaka just on the edge of the penalty box with THREE defenders whirling in on him, and he juggles that ball up to waist-height to save it, get it into a position where he can shoot it – then when its blocked? So calmly backheels it to Lass behind him! How did he know?? WOW!

38:20 Pipita offside?! DAMN, he coulda scored! Replay shows he was just a hair offside, just leaning that way – blah.

45:00+0:30 GOOOOOOOOOLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PIPITAAAAA!!!!!!! Aww, you finally got your Champions League debut goal! And what a goal, all your own!

And the desire of Pipita is astounding. Either that, or they stopped defending? Aha. We are doing that thing again, one-touch backwards, that is starting to get on my nerves. I know we aim to keep possession, but . . !! Anyways, all we need is that one break, one crystal-clear path. And here it is: Raul and Higuain, so full of understanding, the ball comes to Raul who instantly releases it to Pipita, who’s got a defender on him and taps it forward for himself but actually his defender impedes him, holds him back, puts his body in front! NOOO!

But Higuain doesn’t care – he simply goes around him, it should be impossible because his defender is in front of him but suddenly the defender’s behind him, he’s sped on by! WOW! Did that dude forget to defend?? Haha! But Pipita’s desire for goal is outrageous, he’ll run down every ball, I had no idea a goal was even possible from that angle but he’s already scored, already fooled the keeper and rolled the ball into the back of the net! Magical illusion! He’s amazing! How many touches has he had, only a few? And he makes one assist and one goal out of them??? HOLY COW!!

And Raul comes to hug him like there’s no tomorrow. Like he’s won the Champions League final for them. Awwww, I LOVE those two! They are so good together. 3-0, can you believe it?

Second Half:

48:16 KAKA loose in the box!! Shoot it, bb!!! Damn! They fouled him, no? YES – replay shows a trip of his leg.

52:00 F*CK, XABI! Injured?? Oof, that’s got to hurt, the replays show how he was trying to save the ball by sticking a leg out, just as the other player charged in on him. The knee?? The ankle?? He’s limping . . :*( The assistant makes a gesture to the bench – and Gago, long hair flying behind him, goes to pull off his warm-ups. See, Gonzo? Gago didn’t cut his hair!

56:15 Ok, they’re getting away with murder here??? Raul’s still mad! WTF? he says. They pulled him down twice, the first one I can understand because we got the advantage but the second??? Where they bodily wrapped around both his legs to bring him down? WTF was that, ref? After seeing Xabi getting injured, I’m suddenly afraid for all our boys. 3-0, let’s just be safe and come home, guys. No need to play all out.

59:00 Gago finally on for injured Xabi, who’s long been icing his ankle on the bench. We had to play with 10 men for about 4 minutes there.

61:30 Oh, oh, RAUL! You had the net right in front of you!! You had to shoot wide? But ohmygod, how I love our front four! They are SO SEXY together, they are really getting the hang of each other!!  They know how to move and play off of each other now, and its like a maze, a game of chess, how each one moves and creates space for the other. Ronaldo’s nutmeg through TWO defenders for Kaka? His subsequent pass to Pipita, who dummies it back for Raul? Who was perfectly positioned to rifle it into the wide open net in front of him? Gah, that he misses almost doesn’t erase all that comes before it! The “almost” of it still lingers, sparkling. They’re gonna take us far . .

62:00 PENALTY????? DID HE EVEN TOUCH HIM?!?!
F*ck. Pepe tries the offside trap on that pass but it doesn’t work, which releases the Zurich player ALL ALONE racing into the box with only Iker to beat. Poor Iker has no choice but to try to grab the ball, taking out the player as well. The replay isn’t conclusive, but that looks like a dive to me. Damn!

And they score. WTF, they tried to freak out Iker, faking and faking in front of the ball until the very last second to shoot, Iker too late for the high ball. 3-1, but I’m mad. >:

64:30 WHAT?!?!?! WTF is going on?? Suddenly we lose all composure? Gago slicing in to take down another player in the box, almost another penalty? Then off the corner – they score on a header!! #*&$@%$*#&$(#%@*##!~ GOL for Zurich, Iker looking helpless, and all of a sudden its 3-2?!

Ohmyf*ckingGOD.

We just gotta score another one. 3-2 is ok, but two goals in 2 minutes is making my head spin. We just gotta score another one, guys!

66:34 Guti on for Pipita.

75:00 SHOOT IT, RONALDO! SHOOT IT!!! Ack, why doesn’t he shoot? He’s turned so nice all of a sudden, arriving like a steam train in front of goal, with only 1 defender on him and the keeper to beat – then decides to wait? Tee it up for Raul? Who, LOL, has to aim for the heel of the clueless defender in front of him, who made no effort to block that shot even, but blocked it anyways? Ay ey ey . . ah, at least Guti’s corners are better than Xabi’s.

76:50 Wow, the ref is just complete bullocks today. How are we to collect yellow cards like happy meal toys – while they only have 1?? While they keep nipping at Kaka’s heels and bringing him down with no reprimand for it? While they can keep tugging Raul down onto the grass and he has to argue and argue and still we get nothing, nada? Let’s just end this game as soon as possible, this is making me nervous.

81:00 See?? How is that a yellow card on Lass? Just a normal foul, no wonder Lass is pissed.

83:00 GAGO JUST OVER THE BAR!!!!!!!!!!! Oh so close!

85:00 I’m not sure I agree with pulling Pipita and leaving Raul out there. He’s been great so far, yes, but he doesn’t cut an imposing figure in the box for players like CR9 to cross into. We need Ruud or Pipita . . and is Benzema injured?? How come he was the hot new thing in the preseason but suddenly when we need a fresh striker for another goal we don’t even look in his direction?? Something I don’t know about?

86:20 AAAAAGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Guti! Raul! Cristiano! Cristiano – run run run! Get that ball back! Guti! Cristia-nooo!! Just an inch too short, otherwise it would’ve arrived back on the boots of Ronaldo and into the net! That’s what I mean!! We need someone with Ronaldo’s speed and size to wreck havoc in the box! Damn, Zurich is hanging on by the skin of their teeth, aren’t they? They are just SO DAMN LUCKY TODAY! While we are the very definition of UNLUCKY! Tons of goals missed by just one inch, seriously. Right here, another inch and Ronaldo would’ve had it. Just like another inch and maybe Gago’s shot would’ve gone in, or Rauls’ without being deflected off someone’s goddamn heel . . !!

87:20 Guti taken down! Free kick . . can Ronaldo do it again? *giggles* at his stance right before the free kick, legs apart, a huge heave of breath to clear his lungs, as if he needs to get into a certain zen to concentrate his powers.

And WHAT POWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did you see that shot?? Like a cannon – like something out of a movie, the hit so clean that you barely see the ball move or rotate while in flight. And the power behind that shot, enables the ball to spike the roof of the net when the keeper punches it, rather to get it out but it stays in.

AND HIS JOY!!!!!!! SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!  4-2, we are safe, finally, and it’s all YOU, Cristiano! Hmm, why the grim face, Raul? Did the keeper hit the ball at your head??

90:00 GUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOOOLLLL!!!!!!!!! OMG, that’s my favorite one of them all!!! Ahahahaha! Serves you right, to leave him all alone!  Kaka with laser eyes, such vision to pick him out! And they are so busy with Ronaldo that they’d forgotten about good ol’ Guti, who flies down the right flank, blond hair laughing behind him, alighting at how far out the keeper’s come and the gaping hole that is the net. And it is so simple, so beautiful, I am *squeeeeeing* as the ball arches in the air and chirps before nestling into the back of the net, all spins and giggles.

Oh, how it feels! All that frustration suddenly released, all their kicks and parking the bus and stupid 2 goals in 2 minutes – all of that, erased! The game’s over, and what a goal to end it! 5-2, and good night, Zurich.

Man of the Match: Cristiano.

End:
What a game! I feel drained, almost. From that high of 3-0, to the horror and confusion of the 3-2, to nerves and anger at them kicking our players and our horrid luck in front of goal – to Ronaldo’s superb free kick that calmed everything down and restored order to the universe.  And then Guti’s icing on the cake! An amazing game.

I’m really starting to love Ronaldo. He’s just . . so eager, so emotional, you know what I mean? I LOVE seeing that in players. He wants to win, and I love how he expresses that, no matter if he’s being angry at himself for fluffing another free kick, or laughing and hollering with joy at a superb goal to ice the game. I still remember Guti last year, spiking the ball in the Juv game, and how hard he fought. Ronaldo’s exactly the same. He wears his emotions on his sleeve, and some ppl might call that “prima donna” – but I say no. Sergio’s like that too – Pipita – and that’s why we love them. They’re young, for god’s sakes. And ohmygod, sooooo talented.

And in this game, we saw the full gauntlet of emotions from him. Ronaldo, he acts like he should never make a mistake, he should never send anything over the bar, and haha, if I could produce perfection on a free kick like that then I would too. And then when he gets it right? When he scores? OMG, the world smiles!!! The sun breaks through the clouds, I feel like we’ve won TEN trophies, and he breaks into that big, goofy smile of his, laughing and pumping his fists and running around like a little boy with the newest X-Men collector’s comic, and yeah, I love that. I love when a player wants to do his best for the team and keeps at it all game long. We needed him tonight, and he was the difference. Man of the Match, for sure. 

And hee, Pipita! I was amazed that he got to start this game, when I was sure he’ll be “rotated” to the bench b/c he played 75 minutes in the last one, just 3 days ago? But this is how it should be. He got his first Champions League goal today, but more than that, he showed just how much understanding he has with Raul and the rest of the players. He was always running, always hunting for the ball, and just great awareness all around to create that assist and then get his goal. Not just any goal – but the game-winning goal. That’s right, Pipita, if it had stayed 3-2 you would’ve been the hero. Go show them. Show them that you deserve your place on this team of superstars.

That’s what I thought: AS is saying the ref invented the penalty on Iker! ESPN agrees that dude dived. Goddamn gave us SIX yellow cards too – including an utterly laughable one on Lass – while only two for Zurich. Can we appeal?

Get well soon, Xabi. Did they get their 2 goals because you left the game?  Pepe thinks so:

Pepe: “We felt Xabi’s absence. We were maintaining a very high level, but noticed a change when he got injured, he is a key player for us. After that we managed to reorganise and kill off the game.”

Category: Game Recap

Tags: Game Recap

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