Grapevine 6/22

By: Corey | June 22nd, 2009

There is a ton of stuff going on in the transfer market today as the world takes a breather from the surprisingly exciting Confederations Cup action of the weekend. Monday’s are usually tough on all, but it seems that several deals have been completed today. Franco Zucilini went to Hoffenheim, a bit of a surprise. A talented Argentinian defensive midfielder, he is has been on my radar since he performed so well for the Argentinian u-18s. He leaves Racing with close to 50 appearances under his belt for an 18 year old. Gojko Kacar may move to Lazio, Genero Zeefuik may be loaned to a team in France from PSV, and it seems Marko Arnautovic has signed for Inter Milan. Lots of good players on the move today, to bad Real were not in on any of that action.

But, I have 12 different leads about Real related transfer news to discuss today, so lets get down to it. Some music for you to enjoy while you read up on this week’s silly season intrigue:

Silversun Pickups – Panic Switch

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First up is news about everyone’s favorite playboy Sergio Ramos. The right back was believed to be unhappy with the wages that a certain superior play boy was receiving in his new contract (believed to be upwards of 560,000 pounds a week. Why in pounds do you ask? British press does not know there is a thing called the euro). But Ramos has come and out said this is not the case, and that since he is happy with making a shit ton of money every week, he has no reason to be envious of anyone else’s wages:

“If you’re happy with your pay, it shouldn’t matter to you what someone else is earning.”

“In Madrid we have an atmosphere of high expectations. Next season we will have Cristiano Ronaldo and Kaka, two of the best players in the world, who will create considerable enthusiasm for the coming campaign.”

Ramos seems content with his pay packet, and he should be. Anyways, if he is a little short on money to buy gold trunks and tanning oils, Ronaldo can definitely bum him a few bucks in a pinch. That is if they can get over this….

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Oh boy I got to post a Ronaldo-Ramos love triangle picture! Today started off on the right note. Continuing with Ronaldo, and the British presses almost sick obsession to uncover every little detail of his life, its been revealed that Florentino Perez wants an ‘anti-Sheikh’ clause in his contract. Don’t know what that means? Ronaldo must buy his tanning oil from pre-selected Spanish retailers, no Arabian distributors at all…tsk tsk.
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After Brazil thoroughly whipped Italy, showing just how dull and ineffective the Italians can be when they play a match, Kaka was apologetic for beating up on his adopted country. He almost feels Italian of course, kind of like how all the young men from New Jersey, Staten Island and Long Island almost feel Italian. Guido singer, hay hoo! Anyways, Kaka was asked about Pirlo and he had this to say:

“If Pirlo is leaving, I will have to advise Real Madrid to buy him,” Kaka concluded by saying, and with a big smile on his face.

Pirlo is a good player for sure, but lets just think about how many central midfielders we have in the team right now. Sure a swap deal for Gago would be a great thing, as Milan are interested as well as Juventus. Although Uncle Fester and the Adultere/Pedophile are a little more stingy, valuing Gago at 10-15 million. Someone call Alessio Secco and tell him 20 million will get him Gago and one of Ronaldo’s girls from his harem.
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Possible exits on the Real front include Drenthe on loan to Fiorentina. Ehh, whatever.

Ezequial Garay on another loan, this time to newly promoted Zaragoza. Pfff, you still have Pavon right? Thats your quota for iffy center backs who use to play for Real. Unless you want this guy.

Frank Rijkaard has taken his hands-off coaching methods to Turkey and he wants to ‘rescue’ Hunter from his Real Madrid nightmare. I was not aware he was having a bad time in Madrid?
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Inter Milan, despite two (well three with that tainted one from Juventus) Scudetto on the trot, still have trouble keeping their players. Probably because they buy whiners like Maicon, who feels ‘undervalued and unappreciated at Inter’ and non-committal super human Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Supposedly Inter and Real <a href=”“>discussed the two player’s futures this past weekend and Maicon came out the player Real wanted more because he cost lest. And because we are desperate need of a right back….

Not to be outdone, Zlatan’s agent Mino Raiola blabbed on about how his client is indeed wanted by Real:

“It’s not true that Zlatan has manifested his desire to leave,”

“He only said he would not stay for life, but not that he wants to go away now. Had he decided to leave Inter, he would have already gone to president Moratti.

“I don’t think Branca went to Madrid for Zlatan. If he did, it means I know nothing about football. I don’t know if he went for Maicon, but I don’t really care. I have never seen a director go some place to sell someone.

“I don’t believe it. Real should come here… If Branca went to Madrid to sell someone, he should just be fired because it means he is not cut out for this job. If Inter want to sell ‘Ibra’, I’ll take care of it. It’s up to Inter: they just need to make a phone call.”

Wow, just wow. Insult Inter a little more why don’t you. Lesson 1 in getting a player shipped off: talk down to your team and its management. A polite thanks but no thanks for both players though.
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More agents talking, which has an adverse effect on the global warming problem. Did you know that football agents talking to the press contributes more green house gas to the atmosphere then the world’s cow population ripping ass every five minutes? Well now you do, its a proven fact….

Juan, central defender of Roma, probably wont go to Real Madrid, so says Enzo Bronzetti. Italian super agent ha. Bronze balls by me. Oh wait, he said he might go to Real even if it is not their priority to reinforce the defense. I cant make this stuff up, seriously hahahaha.
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Florentino Perez was rumored to be interested in Diego Forlan, of Atletico Madrid and Pichichi fame. See the thing is that Perez does not identify the players, its Valdano, Pardeza and Pellegrini oh whatever I will never change that perception. Anyways, supposedly its all a front because the real target here is Sergio Aguero. Aguero for his part seems uneasy about moving across town, and I dont blame him. What is he, Hugo Sanchez or Santiago Solari?

“If Real is the rival of Atletico, it is also one of my rivals,” said El Kun. “Going there would mean betraying the club, which has always behaved well with me, my fans and friends. I do not want to go there.”

We have been linked with every single good player in the world to this point now. Would not be surprised if Frank Lampard and his unbelievable ability to…ummm yeah, maybe he will be linked with us next too.
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Finally, the coup de ugly of this post. Frank Ribery news! But first, a message from out sponsor:

The title of that picture is simply “Ribery Zoo”. That man is so ugly he is hard to look at. With Perez being focused on selling shirts, how does he plan to recoup his investment in a monster? Anyways, its been revealed by France Football that Madrid is indeed his preferred destination but it might not be until next year. Im tired, I have ran out of jokes, today’s grapevine was exhausting. Somebody insert a witty comment here please.

So thats it. Lots of rumors, and not a whole lot of stuff you needed to know. Isn’t the summer awesome!