Schuster Me This: Transfer Targets

By: Corey | August 8th, 2007

Schuster Me This?

First of all, I am Corey. New York born and raised and Real fan for the good part of a decade. I do not really want to delve into my passion for the club, just trust me its there. What I want to do first here is take a look at all the transfer targets that the media is reporting on. A disclaimer first. Most of the transfer speculation on Madrid is a load of crap, and I refuse to report fee’s for players because they are usually over inflated if Madrid is involved. That being said, let’s start out with the one that has been going on forever, everyone’s favorite bald 24 year old Dutchie.

Arjen Robben:
Left winger, but honestly I feel like his ability to attack at pace with all of his tricks and hullabaloo has been severely limited by the “Special One”. He still has pace and tricks, don’t get me wrong, but his positional sense will take some working on, and so will his fitness, he is on the treatment table far to often. I would not mind having him on the squad, the left side is a little questionable right now, I would have rather had Malouda though. Anyways, with his transfer fee going through the roof recently because of Mr Ballack. Im gonna give this one a 6/10 because the fee could always be haggled down, but I think Chelsea may have had it, and they certainly don’t need the money.

Micheal Ballack:
Central midfield (varying degrees of attack/defend). Again, his positional sense is all out of wack after playing for Chelsea. Does he sit back and defend, stride forward and shoot/pass, play a little wider on the right? He doesn’t know and neither does his coach, which sums up his first year for Chelsea. Was outstanding at Bayern along with good ole FrankenKahn, but his attributes are a cross between Emerson/Diarra, Gago/De La Red and Guti occasionally. Because we have the Puma and Djila to cover up for Guti, and Gago and De La Red are a hybrid of everything central, unless one of these has to leave/never play in order for this to happen. Couple that with Schuster saying his comments were taken out of context and Ballack saying he is committed to Chelsea, im gonna go ahead and give this one a 4/10. FrankenKahn, haha. Ohh and we have this guy they call the Beast, scores a lot of goals and has a barrel chest like an old sea captain.

Dani Alves:

Right Back (more like right winger). It is fashionable these days to have even your side backs (wing backs is applicable I guess) in what is essentially a 4-4-2 be parked in the opponents half as to shove atleast 8 guys on your opponent that they don’t know what to do with themselves. This is the genius of Juande Ramos and TGIP (Luciano Spalleti). Thus the man with the jerry curl sorta, Dani Alves, who performed okay in the Copa America but has been on fire in La Liga for 3 years now. I like him, he doesn’t defend well but neither does are brosif Cicnho. My thing here is if he moves to another club will he replicate his success? In Seville he pretty much is the man, although Jesus Navas (drool) would beg to differ. The system Ramos deploys allows Alves to sprint forward often, but in Madrid, although he is encouraged to do such things, the center of defense is lacking in discipline the way someone like Javi Navarro or Julien Escude or Aitor Ocio is. Couple that with Cicinho, Salgado, Torres and Sergio Ramos and theres to many right backs. If Cicinho goes, Torres plays on the left a lot and Sergio “Hot as Balls” Ramos in the centre then yeah go ahead and get him, cause Michel Salgado is not a fan of mine, or is it im not a fan or his??? I will give this a scaled rating based on the said factors, 2/10 if no movement takes place at RB and Chelsea/Liverpool firm up, 8/10 of Cicinho goes to the Eternal City and makes Chris cream himself.

Royston Drenthe:

Left back/Left midfield. He is conflicted on that I think. Watching the Toulan tournament last summer on my 53’ plasma I noticed the backline of the Dutch squad.

Drenthe-Donk-Tiendalli-Zuiverloon

What struck me was first the cool dreads Drenthe and Donk sported, but also the incredible speed and strength the whole back line possessed. They shepparded the Portuguese well, with the attacking talent of Joao Moreira of Valencia and a few others young guys I cant remember there names now. Anyways, Drenthe was excellent, and if all 4 of those guys end up being the Dutch World Cup squad in South Africa then I will again say to myself “you do know how to spot them Cor”. Anyways, there are conflicting reports of where he wants to go, and taking someone to court is being bandied about. Regardless of all of that, I think he may come eventually if the Ppppprice is Rightttttt, heres Bob Barker, I mean Drew Carey. What a let down that is. So 7/10.

Robben Update:

I upped this to 8/10 because he said that Madrid interest pleased him; like a wife pleases her husband or like a cold beer and cigar pleases me after a round of golf? Yeah im 20 but act like im 40 so what…

Ricardo Quaresma:
Look out left winger. Barca ties, eww. He plays for Porto, eww. Porto’s president, described as ‘sulfurous’, ewww. There is better talent in Portugal, namely this little guy, uhh Moutinho, Joao Moutinho, that’s the ticket. Quaresma has been linked with the lesser Madrid team and he also sees his spot has been filled by young gun Leandro Lima, Alexandre Pato’s BFF. So maybe he will leave, but I do not know if its to Madrid. I do not know much about this transfer so ill toe the line with a 5/10. I take risks a lot.

Samir Nasri:
God. Buy him now or next year I don’t care buy him with whatever wad of cash you had to buy Kaka. I conveniently skipped Kaka because he is not coming, not unless theres a rapture in Milan. Anyways, Samir Zidane, I mean Nasri, is staying put in Marseille for the next year. That’s fine, buy him before Euro 08 and I will kiss your big shiny ass Ramon Calderon. Sorry no loving for you Pedja, your to oily and weasly for me.

Alves Update: Chelsea are interested and Alves wants to give it a go. 4/10 for Madrid, damn you Chelsea you ruining everything. Stick with Glen Johnson.

Ok that is pretty much it for transfer targets. Few more things here. First, transfers out. Goodbye to Pavon and Mejia, Portillo and Juanfran, and whoever the hell else was let go.
Cassano can go to Sampdoria, with Madrid paying a majority of his wages.

http://www.goal.com/en-us/Articolo.aspx?ContenutoId=376690

I say fine, we will take the hit, it was out fault we bought the brat in the first place. Emerson can leave too. Inter is such a lovely place, so many good players for Moratti to collect, why they do make a habit of buying the guys we don’t like anymore, theres three Argentines and a Portuguese fellow with a huge shnooze.

We welcome Soldado and Balboa back with open arms, you both did well last year. Also Metzelder and Pepe, no pressure guys, but seriously, lots of pressure. Dudek, our bench is actually chairs so get comfy buddy, I would say Antonio Adan is better then you. Saviola, the Rabbit, score goals and ill look the other way for playing for the enemy.

I am going to do a piece on the current squad tomorrow probably, and ill cover the preseason friendly tournament Madrid is gonna play with Deportivo, Belenenses and Atalanta as warm up for the Super Cup. If you can read Spanish go here:
http://www.realmadrid.com/articulo/proxima_teresa_herrera_41672.htm

That should cover it for now, comments are always welcome.