The Real Silly Season Post

God I Hate My Job

Selling calenders and planners in a cubicle with a headset on for 6 hours really blows. But I cant complain, its just a job over winter break that will pay the rent in the bachelor pad next year, not like I will be doin this my whole life. Now my last post said the silly season approached, but I failed to mention anything about the silly season. So I changed the title of that post and this will be your most up to date transfer market post. So be prepared to hear some very outlandish things in the Christmas version of The Grapevine:

-First up, good ole Jesus freak Ricky Kaka (sounds like a greasy haired Cuban hustler) was suppose to arrive on Spanish shores this summer. He did not, and now Ramon Calderon says he does not believe it would be a good idea if he did. But really he is macking an excuse (albeit with very legitimate reasoning) as to why Kaka was not signed and will not be signed:

“The team is very complete and it would be difficult to make it better,” Calderón told Radio Marca.

“I might appear arrogant, but Kaká would perhaps not have a place in the current Real Madrid team.”

This is true, he probably is not needed at the moment, we have other areas to improve, namely the right side of the midfield and a striker that scores (lookin at you Saviola). But instead of saying “Hey, AC Milan reckons this fellar is a good young buck, we might hold on to him and not trade a few steers for his playing liscense.” (I saw No Country For Old Men the other night, Im on a southern drawl kick), Calderon is just gonna BS because thats what he is good for. This transfer is dead atleast until the summer, and good riddance, Guti’s strange ways may conflict with Kaka’s holy spirit. I kid I kid, here is what Kaka said recently:

“To play in the Spanish league one day? That’d be nice, yes. They play very attractive, very offensive football, and for a player like me that’s ideal.

“But to move there now would be impossible. I’m very much centred with Milan. I know their philosophy of football, as well as Italian football in general. So only in the distant future would it be possible.”

“It’s a very interesting coincidence,” he mused. “It’s the kind of match that all players want to try.

“That’s why I feel sorry for [Lionel] Messi. I heard about his injury, and he must regret not being able to take part. Big players must play in big games.

“In my view, despite his youth, Messi is among the best in the world. He has the attributes of a special player, particularly in moving with the ball and leaving his marker behind.

“Messi usurping Ronaldinho? Nobody takes over from anyone. It’s the law of life: new generations of talented young players appear, but those like Ronaldinho will remain good.

“It’s always noticed when a player like Ronaldinho is being benched, though. But I know him well and believe that once again he’ll be back to normal because he is a huge talent.

“Will he play for Milan? It’s not up to me to say so, and I can’t do so out of respect for Barcelona and Milan. I can only say that he can play anywhere and will be well-received wherever he goes.

“I can’t pick a result for the Clasico – whatever happens! I have friends on both teams: Robinho, Baptista, Ronaldinho, Edmilson, Deco… let’s go for a draw, so nobody gets angry. Or whoever is best should win, or whoever has more luck.

“Barcelona are playing well in the Champions League will Madrid have been on top in the Liga. These two teams will be difficult for AC Milan to overcome if we want to win the Champions League again.”

Clearly he favors his Brazilian compat Ronald to Messi-ah. He always says this stuff, transfer still dead til summer. If Milan doesnt make the CL you bet he will look for a move.

- Lyon striker Fred is on the outer and although PSG and Marsielle are batting eyelashes, he wouldnt be a bad signing, cheaper then expected considering his injury and lack of form and coherence. But this would be a big gamble, and this guy is a man-child with an attitude, and a cute little Jew-Fro (no disprespect to the Jewsih people). I would rate this a long shot, or a Elisha Kuthbert I believe according to Chris at the Roma Offside’s rating system.

- Jerzy Dudek is singing a song, and it goes a little like this:

“We might be able to sit down and talk in two or three weeks but if I can’t leave in January I will see out my career in Madrid,” he explained.

“The only problem is Euro 2008. I want to play in it.”

I dont blame him for wanting to play in it, and he can leave, I prefer Codina as a backup and we have other young keepers in Castilla waiting for a shot at Casillas. Not that they have a chance but they are good prospects. Here is an idea, since ole Canizares is available this winter from Valencia, why not have him come back to Real as backup? Nah, he and Casillas are not the best of pals anyways. Dudek, out. Canizares out. Fabien Barthez Why did I say that? A new reserve keeper, why?

- Speaking of Canizares being out at Valencia, so is David Albelda. Juve already want him, as Ranieri is a fond admirer. I wouldnt mind him in Madrid though, he is a strong leader and does the job in the center, but he is a short term player, maybe a year or two left in him. He could cover for Diarra, or replace Diarra, or play along side him. I definately think a center midfielder is needed, but we may be able to hold out til the summer since Baptista is in such good form and Gago is always around.

- Ruud’s contract talks are still stalled. Unlike one Amantino Mancini (who I do not want at Real), I dont forsee this being a problem. Ruud is pretty dedicated to Real, so its just about hammering out details.

- Ronald Koeman is a mad man on the loose, he has axed Albelda, Canizares and now Angulo. But wait, three more players today look to be on the outer: “Zigic and Fernandes have failed to make an impact since their summer arrivals and were rarely used by Koeman’s predecessor, Quique Sanchez Flores. Vicente, meanwhile, appears to be paying for his row earlier this season with the club’s medical staff.”

I dont remember what Valencia fan it was that told me I was an idiot when a few weeks back I said with Koeman coming aboard he wouldnt want Fernandes anymore, but to that unnamed gentleman, I have for you a big ole’ BOOYAH BITCH!

- Mamadou had this to say about the rumored transfer to Inter or the swap with Juve for Tiago “I chose to come here, even if I have experienced some difficult times. But I am happy to be here. There is a structure here that allows you to improve and so I intend to stay until the end of my contract.”

“I have never said I wanted to leave. I want to stay because this is the best club in the world.”

I like Tiago, but not for Diarra. Maybe Gago, but not Diarra. Hell, you can get Tiago on loan for close to nothing, why trade a player. And Inter (aka Argentina). Why would anyone ever want to play there? Diarra wont leave, but if by some crazy chance that Pedja and Portugal see it fit to sell our only defensive midfielder, either Momo Sissoko or Javier Mascherano must be signed to replace them. Now their is a little EPL in me….yuck.

And, its so bad at Valencia that Hugo Viana does not want to be recalled from Osasuna. Wow, Koeman is looking like Stalin right now. Anyways, enjoy all of the transfer crap. I know I dont. Adios.

Category: Team News

Tags: Team News

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